They said it

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it
Seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an
Hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S
Relativity.
- Albert Einstein
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The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working
The moment you get up in the morning and does not
Stop until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost
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The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's
There to appreciate it.
- Franklin P. Jones
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We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain
The success of those we don't like?
- Jean Cocturan
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It matters not whether you win or lose; what
Matters is whether I win or lose.
- Darrin Weinberg
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Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.
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Help a man when he is in trouble and he will
Remember you when he is
In trouble again.
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Complex problems have simple, easy to understand
Wrong answers.
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It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it
Creative problem solving.
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Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know
Where to shop.
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Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again,
Neither does milk.
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Most people are only alive because it is illegal to
Shoot them.
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Forgive your enemies but remember their names.
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The number of people watching you is directly
Proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Need answers

1. If all the nations in the world are in debt even US has got debts, where did all the money go?
2. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
3. What is the speed of darkness?
4. If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a
plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
5. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?
6. Can you cry under water?
7. Why do people say, "You've been working like a dog" when
dogs just sit around all day?
8. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
9. Do fish ever get thirsty?
10. Can you get cornered in a round room?
11. What does OK actually mean?
12. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
13. What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
14. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
15. What should one call a male ladybi

some more thoughts

"Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards."
-- Fred Hoyle

"Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun."
-- Matt Groening, Life in Hell

"He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke."
--Terry Cohen

"Don't take life too serious. You'll never escape it alive anyway."
-- Elbert Hubbard

Why, Can u tell me why?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

Zindagi hai choti , har pal mein khush raho...
Office me khush reho, ghar mein khush raho..
Aaj paneer nahi hai, dal mein hi khush raho,
Aaj gym jane ka samay nahi, do kadam chal ke he khush raho..
Aaj Dosto ka sath nahi, TV dekh ke hi khush raho..
Ghar ja nahi sakte to phone kar ke hi khush raho...
Aaj koi naraaz hai, uske iss andaz mein bhi khush raho..
Jisse dekh nahi sakte uski awaz mein hi khush raho...
Jisse paa nahi sakte uske yaad mein he khush raho
MBA karne ka socha tha, S/W mein he khush raho...
Laptop na mila to kya, Desktop mein hi khush raho..
bita hua kal ja chuka hai, usse meeti yaadein hai,unme he khush raho..
aane wale pal ka pata nahi..sapno mein he khush raho..
Haste haste ye pal bitaenge, aaj mein he khush raho

Lahron se darkar nauka kabhi paar nahi hotikoshish karne walon ki kabhi haar nahi hoti
nanhi chinti jab dana lekar chalti hai,chadhti deewaron par sau baar fisalti hai,manka vishwas ragon me sahas bharta hai,chadhkar girna, girkar chadhna na akharta hai,mehnat uski bekar har baar nahi hoti,mehnat karne walo ki kabhi haar nahi hoti,
dubkiyan sindhu me gotakhor lagata hai,ja ja kar khali haath laut kar ata hai,mile na sehaj moti gehare pani me,badhta duuna vishwas is hairani me,muthi uski khaali har baar nahi hoti,koshish karne walon ki kabhi haar nahi hoti,
asaflta ek chunauti hai, sweekar karo,kya kami reh gayi, dekho aur sudhar karo,jab tak safal na ho chain ki neend ka tyago tum,sangharsh ka maidan mat chod kar bhago tum,kuch kiye bina jai jai kaar nahi hoti,koshish karne walon ki kabhi haar nahi hoti